Monday, June 23, 2008

Indiana Jones and the "Spielburg needs to stop making moves"

Found this abridged script that someone put together for Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull.

Spoiler alert, but it's damn funny.

My favorite (slightly non-spoiler) lines are:

HARRISON teaches his film class entitled “How To Ruin Millions Of Childhoods In 2 Hours” when he is interrupted by the DEAN, JIM BROADBENT.

and this one:

HARRISON FORD

What are we doing in the Amazon?

KAREN ALLEN

Cate wants to return the Crystal MacGuffin to the ancient City of Gold.

HARRISON FORD

City of Gold? Isn’t that what Nicolas Cage was looking for in National Treasure 2? Are we seriously getting the plot for our shitty sequel to Indiana Jones by ripping off the plot of a shitty sequel to a shitty knock-off of Indiana Jones? I feel like that should unravel the space-time continuum or something.


Buahahaha! Seriously, that movie sucked the life outta me. I'll just pretend it never happened just like Star Wars Episodes I-III.

2 comments:

Mary said...

It was so bad. I was hanging in there until Shia started swinging on vines with monkeys.

Maggie said...

I know! I think I was done once they rolled out the first alien, but we had paid so much for the tickets we stuck it out.