Thursday, February 7, 2008

History

Here is something I wrote a long time ago when I was living alone and bored. Amazing what boredom can bring huh?

PART 1

Wednesday, January 22, 2003

22 January, in the Year of Our Lord 2003:

The village has been under siege for three weeks now. The enemy has taken out our food supply in order to force us out with starvation, but we will endure. We don't know how they get past the stone walls, but they have left behind their trademark after every strike. This enemy is no ordinary foe, for they are the Ninjas of the Mausu. They move only when darkness falls and their attack is as silent as the wind.

We have surprisingly caught 5 of their numbers, but true to their code, they would not talk. Being a peaceful village, we let them go with a warning...but this is proving to be our downfall. They strike back with even more ferocity than if we had killed in cold blood.

The council members have come to a decision today. Outside help must be brought in. Normally we detest the hiring of mercenaries, but we are left with no choice. The survival of our clan is at stake and we can no longer fend off the attacks.

Here is a photo of the merc, named Kamisu, who arrived this morning. He has a slight problem with keeping saliva in his mouth and tends to stare off with a blank look, but he is the only one close enough that has the skills necessary. Let us pray that he can deliver us from this evil.

God save us. - Councilwoman Seberu

Yep. I have a mouse problem. The little buggers broke into my brand new loaf of bread, chewed up one of my chopsticks (just one! why not both??), and pooed on my computer desk. Since the live traps aren't working and I can't bring myself to set up the spring-loaded traps, additional action had to be taken. So, I called up my sister and I am borrowing Kami The Mad Mouser until my situation is under control. Seeing as he is a bit...um...slow, aggravates my brother-in-law to no end, and hates to have his tail touched (a favorite target of my nephew) we both figured it was in Kami's and my best interest to have him at my house for a while. I figure him catching mice is a bit more natural than the death-traps and even if he doesn't catch any, just his presence in the house should keep them at bay.

He also has a slight drool problem - it's better than it used to be though. Due to a mouth ulcer, he's lost most of his teeth so he tends to leak from time to time. I think he's picky about his tail because, when he was at his sickest that was the only place that didn't hurt, so he's a might bit protective of it.

I'm just happy I have a roommate now (an invited one, the mice don't count), even if it is temporary.

PART 2

Thursday, January 30, 2003


Listen to me young ones, as I tell a tale. A Tale that took place very recently - A Tale about Samurai Kamisu, the defender of our village. Though slow witted and hygienically-challenged, he single pawedly fought off one of the Seven Demons of Rodenticus. The Ninja of the Mausu had sent One of the Seven, the one they call Hamtaro. Here is the story, told by Councilwoman Seberu as she recorded the event:

From the safety of the surrounding brush, I was able to record the Demon Hamtaro in his evil act. He was attempting to cut the telephone wires so all communication between the village and the outside world would be severed.

Despite my best efforts to stay hidden, the Keen Eyes and Sharp Ears of the Demon could not be deceived. Damn our traditional garb and it's decorative bells!

With a single leap, Hamtaro covered the ground between himself and the ledge I was perched upon. I attempted escape, but he was too fast for me.

I was afraid for my life. Just when things were looking bleak and I had resigned my fate to hamster food, Kamisu the Savior leaped from the trees!

Ever the cautious warrior, Kamisu scoped out his enemy before engaging.

And the battle begins! The two fighters moved with such speed, I could barely keep up with their whereabouts. Just as fast as the battle began, it was over. Kamisu successfully drove the limping Hamtaro back into the forests and away from our village.

My Hero.

No comments: